The Lelo Pino – Exclusively For Bankers
Recently, I was let in on a secret. A secret product that was being created by Lelo, the Swedish luxury sex toy company. This one, they said, would be perfect for me. Why? I asked. I was told it was designed for city workers. Specifically, it was for bankers.
I was pleased to hear the news. Often, my friends in the financial district of London and I remark that we have been particularly unloved by sex toy manufacturers. No more. The Lelo Pino is for us. All for us.
Although I’m not technically a banker, I think I was chosen as an early recipient of the Pino for my love of the banking sector (see below):
Fractional reserve banking coupled with a fiat monetary system is asking for trouble. It’s only a matter of time before currencies collapse.
— Andy (@ruffledsheets) August 28, 2014
So what is the Pino? Well, it’s a cock ring. But not just any cock ring. Oh no. It’s a cock ring for us. Just us. It’s also a bunch of other cool stuff as well, like a handy money clip emblazoned with the phrase Always Be Closing.
Thanks to the clip, I am now the flashiest closer in the office. Look at the money on the right. I had to keep my crisp £20 notes in a dull metal clip before the Pino arrived. No longer.
It’s also a set of stylish Lelo Cufflinks. I rocked the office wearing those, I can tell you. I was closing left right and centre.
The toy itself? A stretchy silicone vibrating cock ring that has 10 patterns, is 100% waterproof and is USB chargeable. Hell, I can charge it with my laptop during the day and be closing at the same time!
If you’re a banker then why not go to the Lelo Pino website now to find out more. If you’re not a closer, move along. There is nothing to see here…
Always Be Closing.
Thanks again Lelo. I’ll post a review shortly…