Sex toy reviews from a discerning chap

 


 
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Review: Rocks Off Rude Boy

 

21
Posted December 30, 2011 by

I’d like to start by stating that, in spite of everything I write after these first few lines, there are some good aspects to the Rocks Off Rude Boy. It’s well made, the silicone is quite nice, the bullet isn’t bad (as bullets go). All things that are important in a toy. There is however, one thing that is of paramount importance to any toy and that is the shape. This, sadly, is where Rocks Off have blundered.

This was my second sex toy. After trying this and the outstandingly bad Aneros MGX, I think I would have been forgiven had I not wanted to try another anal toy out for the rest of my days. Fortunately, I persisted and became the sex toy addict & reviewer I am now but this particular one didn’t do me any favours whatsoever.

I remember seeing this advertised on the Internet, watching videos of people dropping the vibe in water, listening to people rave about how good it was. I instantly wanted one. It was the first prostate toy that seemed to be mainstream. Even Ann Summers stocked them. I remember working in the centre of London and popping into Ann Summers to actually have a look at them. I was so glad that I could actually see one before buying, after the complete non-experience I had with the Aneros.

I didn’t buy one at first, though. It looked a little strange to me. Too curved. So I hesitated. Would that really feel good inside? I really wasn’t sure. I walked out of Ann Summers without one. Disheartened, I read another couple of reviews and checked the diagrams issued by the manufacturer. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was missing out on a fantastic new anal toy. So I ordered one, against my better judgement. This is the point where I’d like to say I was proven wrong, that it was an amazing toy and that I’d never looked back. Sadly….no.

No, the prostate isn

As it turned out, my instincts were correct. To sum it up, the Rocks Off Rude Boy is poorly designed. The idea of a toy that curls round to hit the prostate is good, in principle, but the Rude Boy is too long and too curved. It has about 7″ of toy you need to insert fully to be able to ‘rock’ on the perineum massager but the prostate is probably 3 inches inside. The diagram above is just fiction. The first time I tried it, I found that out. I remember slipping it inside, only to feel it causing discomfort after a few inches. Surely this wasn’t right? I mean, I wasn’t totally new to anal penetration and ordinarily the length & width would have been fine. I tried again, and again. And again. The same every single time. Sure, it didn’t feel terrible up until that point. I could also use the other end as a handle. But that’s not why I bought it and it’s certainly not how the toy is sold. I wanted a toy I could slip inside that left my hands free. I wanted to be able to rock on it, as described on the adverts. I certainly wanted something I could insert all the way without causing pain.

I can’t remember which time I decided to try something different, but after being disappointed many times, I decided to turn it the other way. My knowledge of the human anatomy (musculature aside) wasn’t fantastic at the time but even I thought that the rectum wasn’t shaped the way this toy was. I wondered if it would fit in reverse, with the perineum massager pointing the other way. I tried it and, as I thought, it went all the way in with ease. My initial assumptions were correct. Too long for a toy to be curved that way.

I’m sure the Rude Boy has sold well and I’m sure many people actually use them. Indeed, it is possible to insert all the way, but it’s not comfortable and does not hit the prostate, which is the intended outcome. Toys like this (and the Aneros) often sell well due to marketing and the fact that many people don’t like being negative. There are plenty of badly designed toys out there. I’m just staggered that more research into the human anatomy wasn’t performed before manufacturing it. It could have been fantastic.

I’ve spoken to a few guys about this toy and it appears that I’m not alone. It seems that many have bought it and feel the same way I do. Its a shame that such a prominent toy in the market is so poorly designed. I really cannot recommend it for anyone, which is a shame. There are some great, not dissimilar toys out there. The Nexus Max5 for example, would be a better purchase, or the Fun Factory Bloomy (which I’m reviewing at the moment) is a great shape. Just don’t buy this one as I don’t think you’ll like it.

To end on a semi-positive note, I think Rocks Off mean well. Their products are certainly well crafted, nicely packaged and made from good quality materials. I just think they made a big mistake with the shape of this particular toy. I also think they are beginning to realise they could have made a better toy themselves, as the latest in the rage (the butt boy) is a much better shape. See below.

This is a MUCH better shape.

It’s not harshly curved at all and I’d love to try one out to review. The cone shaped plug is a much better design and coupled with the vibe in the perineum massager, it could be a great dual purpose toy, the toy that this one should have been had the designer bothered to turn up to biology lessons at school…


21 Comments


  1.  

    I purchased this toy for my partner over a year ago, and at the same time, made the mistake of buying offers from the Rocks-Off prostate stimulating range. When purchasing the toys we both read through reviews, and product information, as well as looking at the instructional videos available. We both thought the idea of the toy was great, and that it appeared to be well made – silicone anal toys weren’t the easiest to find.
    The quality felt good upon arrival, and the bullet is ok. Though, I still don’t understand why so many people rave about the bullet. It’s not the most powerful or well made, just a little better than some.

    The first few times he tried the toy, it seemed to be going well, it was a little uncomfortable – he wondered if maybe it was due to not being warmed-up enough prior to insertion. After trying the toy more times, his experience with the toy did more harm than good. The toy didn’t work as it was designed, which made us both feel disappointed, but also it didn’t feel right/comfortable to use. Sadly, it put him off anal toys for a little while. He had a very similar experience with the toy, to you. It wasn’t just the rude boy, but the other curved shaped rocks-off toys seem to have the same problem… they just aren’t designed with the human anatomy in mind.

    Anyway, another excellent review, which was very enjoyable and easy to read =)




  2.  

    I agree with much of what you say here. If they marketed it as simply an anal vibe instead of a prostate massager, then the disappointment might not be so acute. It’s just not a prostate massager.

    My main criticism is that it DOES NOT stay in place. The theory is that you’re supposed to sit on it and just rock, but I like to use these things during sex so I need to move around. This doesn’t allow that.

    The Naughty Boy is an improvement, although that too suffers from a problem with slipping out during sex. Part of the problem with these toys is the weight: sure, if you’re just sitting on it then it doesn’t make a difference, but in the real world they’re just too heavy. The silicone doesn’t translate the vibrations particularly well either. It’s too dense. Maybe try the Bad Boy which does stay in place, but I found it a total pain in the arse to insert. Literally. It’s pretty big, too big for my tastes.

    Thanks for the review.

    -JY




  3.  
    faithlessjuliet

    This is much needed snark after work. Thank you for this!




    •  
      Andy

      You’re welcome!

      I was annoyed when I first bought this toy but now that I review it’s come in handy for some much needed snark 🙂





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